Friday, September 17, 2010

Parenting Tip #124

It is imperative that you know all of the names of your child's 1403 stuffies.  If they have amassed this huge collection, and have taken the time to name each of them individually (and you know they have), then you know that each one is an individual, distinct creature that provides its own special form of love or comfort.

For instance, if you are about to start a car trip, and your child asks you to grab Larry (the snake, btw) for the ride, well, heaven help you if you instead bring Michelle (the warthog).  You will be faced with a huge, ear-shattering temper tantrum for the duration of your trip. Or at least a very sad and frustrated little boy or girl.

And should you accidentally refer to one of these precious stuffies by the wrong name, in earshot of your child? You will be scorned and mocked by your disgusted and hurt preschooler.  I guarantee it.

Just this morning Little Boo requested that I get Larry, BamBam, Edward, and Blossom for him. Now the first three were easy - his long-standing best friend, plus the two current new faves.  But Blossom? Who the hell is Blossom? I am the mom after all, and he expects me to know these things.  I do love him, right?  So I stood there. Staring at the mountain of stuffed animals. Willing Blossom to jump out at me.

Then I saw her - the WebKinz donkey!! Of course! So the moment (and my status as caring mother) was saved.

As I deposited the collection in the designated spot, I asked hubs if he yet knew all the names of Little Boo's immense stuffy collection. He looked at me with a blank stare. Tinged with just a hint of panic.

I think I'll quiz him on it later ...

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