Monday, April 11, 2011

Ain't Misbehavin' - Review and Giveaway

When I got the notice from MomCentral looking for bloggers interested in reviewing Alyson's Schafer's newest book Ain't Misbehavin', well, I pretty much jumped out of my chair. This opportunity is just screaming for me. Being mom to a spirited 5 year-old with a tentative diagnosis of ADHD, plus step-mom to a sullen 15 year-old with raging hormones, this book is right up my alley. I need all the help I can get, and I trust Alyson Schafer to give good help. I was even more excited to have been chosen to do a telephone interview with Alyson. I am hoping to prepare a nice, clean transcription of that conversation for a follow-up post. Such a wealth of information!

Alyson's approach is based on Adlerian theory. Alfred Adler was a contemporary and colleague of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.  Adler went off in his own direction though, as a humanistic or "full personality" theorist. As Schafer puts it, "he believed the whole is greater than the sum of its parts." Did you know he published a "child guidance manual" back in the 1930s promoting democratic parenting and a need to consider the child's intrinsic motivations? I imagine that was a pretty big deal in a time of "seen and not heard" and "spare the rod and spoil the child." Adler felt it was important to move away from the culture of domination and to create a more respectful approach to parenting our children.

Ain't Misbehavin' is a fabulous resource for busy, harried, frightened, and/or desperate parents. It is not a book you must read cover to cover - her earlier books have presented the theory and overall approaches. (And I encourage you to check those out too when you have a some more time.) Alyson has set this book up as more of a user-friendly user guide. It reminds me of the big red volume my parents had that outlined a huge variety of childhood illnesses - go to the index, then turn to the page you need for your specific circumstance. With Ain't Misbehavin' the frazzled parent can look up their specific behavioural concern du jour in the table of contents and then head straight to the heart of the matter. No messing around or wading through lots of text. The behaviours included were chosen based on the types of questions she gets from parents most regularly, and so they represent a great cross-section of daily concerns.

Alyson presents the concern (potty mouth or biting or rudeness, etc.), discusses some possible causes, perhaps includes a hint of theory, then suggests some possible approaches to dealing with and improving the behaviour. Please note - every child and every family is different, so there are a selection of suggestions offered - think about them and then try ones out that you think might work for you. And that's something she definitely wants the reader to take away from this book - there is no one perfect answer to every behavioural problem or concern. What we need to do is to try to understand what is underlying the behaviour and to try to address that in a respectful way. Schafer also points out that we as parents need to examine our own motivations and beliefs to understand how they affect our reactions to our children's behaviours. This is key to developing a healthy and respectful relationship.

And you know what's even better? She presents all of this with a healthy dose of both realism and humour.  She is a mom herself, as well as an Adlerian-trained professional, and she gets it.

If you are struggling with behavioural issues at home, whether your kids are toddlers or teens, this book should definitely be added to your arsenal. Smart, funny, practical, and directed solutions to address the issues your family is facing. Check it out. And you can check out Alyson's call-in parenting show each week on the Roger's network across Ontario. She broadcasts live on Mondays at 2:00pm, and her show repeats at different times throughout the week. Check your local listings.

You can win your own copy!!
I am delighted to be able to offer a giveaway, thanks to Alyson Schafer, Wiley Publishing and MomCentral.  One lucky reader will receive their own copy of Ain't Misbehavin'.

Mandatory Entry: Leave a comment on this post telling me why you would like to read this book. What parenting struggles are you (barely) coping with these days?

Optional Additional Entries:
- Follow my blog via Google Friend Connect
- Like me on Facebook
- Follow me on Twitter and tweet about this giveaway "Win a copy of @alysonschafer 's new book Ain't Misbehavin' from @mom2michael and @MC_Canada http://ow.ly/4xQmU"

Selection:
Contest closes April 21, 12:00 midnight EDT. Winner will be chosen from all eligible entries via random.org and will be notified by email and/or Twitter. Be sure to leave your contact information!

Disclosure - I am participating in the Ain’t Misbehavin’ program by Mom Central on behalf of Wiley Publishing.  I received a copy of the book to review and gift card as a thank you for my participation.  The opinions on this blog are my own.

27 comments:

  1. I could use this FOR SURE! My 2yo is going on 14 and I have a short fuse for frustration.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I could definitely use this with boy my boys. They are so different so we have a double helping of problems du jour:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds like a good book!!!!!!!!!!!! I follow you on google reader.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm always up for a good read! plus... I've fgot a biter! lol lise(at)thebabybottomline(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Following you on GFC

    lise(at)thebabybottomline(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Following you on Twitter
    lise(at)thebabybottomline(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Following you on Facebook

    lise(at)thebabybottomline(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can see how this book will help me tremendously down the road, my girls are now 9 and 7 but we all know teenage symptoms starts way early before they are teenagers!! I have heard Alyson talked on radio and in person, she is calm and funny, she has two daughters and most importantly, they all talk to her! It will be not fair to say I want my girls to be like her daughters but I certainly look up to Alyson and want to be a mother like her! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I would love to read this book for options when my DD4 forgets she's 4 and acts like she's 2. This tends to ahppen a lot when parents are on the phone and is aimed at the parent on the phone of course.

    lsleegs-kids@yahoo.ca

    ReplyDelete
  10. I could sooo use this, I am running out of strategies with my bossy four year old! And the littlest one is coming up behind him, always need new strategies to work with the munchkins.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I now follow you on Google Friend Connect and am so glad that I came across your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I follow you and tweeted!! @boomda181

    ReplyDelete
  13. I would love to read this book. My 3 year old is starting to act up with my 10 month old. I think sibling rivalry is beginning. This book will help me get some tools to react appropriately.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I follow you and tweeted about this giveaway. @giamponneau

    ReplyDelete
  15. I like you on FB
    Lisa_June@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have a wildly smart creative backtalking 5 yearold son. Sometimes he rhymes his backtalk!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Man I want this book so bad - Our current struggles are our toddler who doesn't like to eat veggies, fruit or meat & has quite the little temper on him and our 9 yr old who has anxiety issues and an attitude

    I have heard fabulous things about this book and I think I might get some great ideas from it

    contestmom AT hotmail DOT com

    ReplyDelete
  18. I follow you through GFC (mountie9)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I also follow you on Twitter and tweeted (mountie9)

    contestmom AT hotmail DOT com

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm a SAHM to a 2 yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl (part time Kindergarten). I've been joking with my friends that when my daughter becomes a teenager that I won't be worried about her leaving home, it will be the other way around! The past couple of months have been really draining. Since my son has turned 2, all you know what has broken loose around here and my daughter has no patience for it and now I am having a really difficult time with it too. When it was just my daughter, I still remember the first time I EVER raised my voice. I was pregnant with my son and my daughter was acting out more than normal, I was VERY pregnant and VERY overtired and I lost it on her. I cried and we hugged and all was well. I look back on those days with fond memories because now yelling is going on left, right and central around here! THAT is why I need to read this book.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I follow you on GFC, thanks so much for this giveaway :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I follow you on Twitter:
    https://twitter.com/#!/MultiTestingMom/status/61228666574741504

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am pregnant, have a 4 year old daughter, and always have my two nieces at the house, ages 2 & 3. I hate to yell but it seems that is all I do anymore, so I am hoping this book may help to give me back my sanity!

    thransom@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  24. I follow your blog via GFC

    thransom@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. I follow you on Twitter and tweeted
    https://twitter.com/#!/THRansom/status/61233818199273472

    thransom@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  26. I like you on Facebook
    (T.h.Ransom)

    thransom@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

I love to know you're reading! What's on your mind?

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...