Saturday, October 22, 2011

Silent Mom - What an Oxymoron

Have you ever tried to be silent? To really be silent? No talking at all. No answering the endless preschooler questions. No responding to Hubs endless "I can't find the ..."

It doesn't work, right?

As you may have read yesterday, a doctor has diagnosed me with bronchitis (viral) and has ordered rest through next Wednesday. Part of that rest is resting my voice. She told me of one of her patients who recently lost their voice for an entire month because she kept talking, and said she wanted me off work so I would be able to not talk.

What a joke. This chick is clearly not a mom, and probably not a wife. God love her earnestness and desire to help, but I'd be better off in the office. My staff would respect my need to not speak. I could transfer my phone to one of them. They'd communicate by email. My assistant would even take a written lunch order and go get it for me (I'm lucky that way.) I absolutely believe I could get through an entire day there without opening my mouth. And everyone would understand.

At home?? I'm doomed. Little Boo never stops talking. Never. Crazy lists of questions about everything he reads or hears. Demands on my attention and wanting my opinion on his latest drawing or what just happened in the movie. And we won't even start on the need to direct things like getting dressed, washing his face, not hitting the cat, etc. (I mostly miss the ability to yell it seems.)

And hubs, even though he seems willing to help, he's also sick and needy. And he actually called me yesterday. On the phone. Moments after I sent him a text telling him I wasn't allowed to speak. WTF?! I will never understand the workings of the male mind.

The Teen is with us now, and he is currently my favourite family member. He's a teen, so he's sullen and quiet and likes to hide in his room. Very few demands on me. Plus, he is actually an incredibly good kid and he is actively trying to take some of the load off me. If only he didn't have mountains of grade 11 homework, I'd be set. Sigh.

Bottom line. A mom cannot rest her voice in her own home. The next time a doctor tries suggesting that to me, I may laugh in their face. Or probably not. Laughing with bronchitis is really rather painful and leads to much coughing. which leads to bladder control issues. Not a good scene.

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