Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Good-bye and Good Riddance, or Happy New Year!

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Reflection
image from Kozzi.com
Here we are at the end of another calendar year. The world didn't end last week after all, though I half hoped it might considering how insane the world has become, and how difficult 2012 has been for me and  my family.

I just had a look back at where my head was this time last year. It seems I had some goals (I don't make resolutions - gave that up a long time ago).  I'm not sure I've gotten very far with them, although I did put my Pampered Chef business to rest as planned. That was a good decision, as the business was taking up time I didn't have and was causing stress. It wasn't the right path for me, at least not at that time. I did put some effort into finding new work, but not enough to actually make anything happen. We've made some progress with me getting help around the house, and I have been more vocal about where the boys should be contributing. But I think that will always be a struggle. Just last night 2 of them placed dirty dishes on top of the dishwasher again, one right after the other. Seriously? Just open it!

2012 saw me mostly focusing on just keeping us all afloat. It was a terribly difficult year, with illnesses, hospitalisations, and death in the family. I've been off work on what would best be called a stress leave since mid-October. I'm basically really happy to see the back of this year.

There were great times too of course. We had an amazing family vacation at Disneyworld in July. I got to visit Puerto Rico for the first time on a work trip in June. There was actually quite a bit of travel in 2012, which is a big love of mine. I had another little mommy break when I did Blissdom Canada in October, and stayed downtown at the conference hotel. Hubs is very supportive of my need for me time, especially with everything that's been going on.

But now I want to focus on moving forward. We have things coming into place to get our family back on track health-wise. I think our struggles in 2012 have made us a stronger family unit, to be honest. We have survived this together.

I won't be making resolutions for 2013 , as I'll only break them I know. But I do want to move forward with a general theme.  I've been inspired by my friend Sharon to choose a word that will define my general approach to 2013. I put a lot of thought into what I want 2013 to look like, what I hope to accomplish, and what focus word can help me get there.

My word for 2013 is CLARITY.

I need CLARITY in my career goals if I am ever going to bring them to fruition. I was speaking with a friend a couple of weeks ago, and when he asked me what work it is I want to do, my answer was so disorganised, it was clear that I didn't yet have a clear idea of what I wanted. He made sure I saw that. So, I need to clarify what I want, and be clear with others who may be able to help me reach my goals.

I need CLARITY with my family (still) about what I need from them. I can't be the only one keeping this household going anymore. Totally unrealistic.

And there will be CLARITY with my friends and colleagues, about support I might need (don't be afraid to ask for help - it doesn't mean you're weak), and about what I can and will offer in terms of support and help for them (and what I can't - I have to get better at preserving my boundaries and protecting my own health).

And, more generally, I need CLARITY with me. I've never been strong on self-reflection, but I've been trying very hard of late. Perhaps it's a mid-life thing, but I really feel that I need to re-assess my life in general and be clear with myself about where I'm going and how to get there. CLARITY in my thoughts, CLARITY in my goals, CLARITY in my actions.

How about you? What will 2013 look like? Do you make resolutions? Or will you have a word to guide you? Either way, I wish you all the best for you and your family in 2013!!! Happy New Year!!!

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