Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Suddenly September

Hello friends! I hope there are still a few of you around. I realise I tend to disappear a bit over the summer months, because, well - summer! But this one's been particularly rough, with a lot of busyness, travelling, and some renewed behavioural issues with Boo. This last couple of weeks have been especially non-productive, due to a combination of factors.

Ah, summer.
First off, the weather change. Generally speaking, this hasn't been much of a summer by southern Ontario's standards, but suddenly about a week or two ago, we switched seemingly overnight from summer to fall. It was weird. One day I was sweating, and the next I was looking for a sweater.  Well, that might be a slight exaggeration, but I have been wearing jeans and t-shirts instead of tanks and shorts. For me, the woman with her own personal tropical sub-climate, this is huge.

While the sudden change of season doesn't bother me, per se, the change in air pressure that brought it really does. Massive migraine for most of last week, with nausea and overall yuck. Just getting food into the two of us from time to time was a struggle. Thank God Boo can make some basic meals himself!!

Adding to that we had a very disappointing meeting with a local support service. I had done a phone call intake in June, and we were under the impression that this August appointment was our first session, seeking help for Boo with his self-regulation issues. The doctor kept us waiting 20 minutes into our 1 hour appointment, while she read his file, then went through all the intake questions again. What?! She also informed us that, in spite of what it says in their brochure and on their website, and in spite of what I'd been told on the phone, they do not offer the service we need, and do not treat children until they are 13. Boo is 11. I was very clear with her what I thought of all this. Not that it will help. The experience left both Boo and me feeling very lost and a bit helpless. I'll keep searching.

And of course, August 30 marked the one year anniversary of my husband's death. Needless to say, that was very much on all of our minds for the last little while. It's been a tough year, but we've gotten through all the "firsts" of events and occasions without him. Our eldest seems to be coping well now, remembering the good times more than the bad, and coming to terms with the loss. Boo seems to be coping well some days (we can talk about Daddy without tears now), and other days not so much. I think that's contributing to the behavioural issues, but who knows.

On the anniversary, we went to the cemetery. Boo didn't want to/couldn't cope with it, so he stayed in the car while N and I went to spend a few minutes at the columbarium. Then I took them both to dinner at East Side Mario's. That was Jim's favourite place to eat with the boys, and was Boo's favourite restaurant, at least until his father's death. He hasn't wanted to go there since, and until that night had consistently turned down any suggestions of eating there. This first time since, he asked for the regular menu instead of the kids' menu (first time) and ordered spaghetti and meat balls instead of his usual Cheesy Alfredo Bowtie pasta. I think he may have been trying to start a new tradition and new memories. My big guy ordered his dad's favourite - chicken parmesan. We raised a toast, enjoyed our meal, and I'm glad we spent that time together.

Now, we move on, into year two. We are settling into this new normal fairly well, though being a single parent isn't easy. I have the utmost respect for those who have been doing it all along! I just thank my lucky stars that Boo is as old as he is and no younger. I'd be lost. We're finding new routines. I'm re-discovering hobbies I had set aside. I think Jim would be proud of us.

So. Now it is September. Boo is back in school. I can get back to routine. Regular work days, regular hours, less temptation to toss it all aside and head to the beach. I'm pretty excited :) I expect you'll be hearing from me a lot more regularly now! Cheers!

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